Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
