I take back everything I said about communal showers
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
