3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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