Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
