First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
