I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
