Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
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