It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
