You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Randomize
