Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
