Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
