How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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