Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
