Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
