Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
