i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
