it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
