the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Randomize
