What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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