I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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