you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
