she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
