kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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