hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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