We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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