i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
