community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Randomize
