super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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