Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
