the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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