weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
