Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
