What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
operation have a gay friend backfired
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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