you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
