I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
