OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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