Can i not drive my cunt home
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
