i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
