hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
