Ketchup is God's man juice
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
As shirtless as possible
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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