I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Randomize
