Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
there is glitter all over my balls
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
