just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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