Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
