So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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