CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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