Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
