last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize