So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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