I think scott just propositioned me for sex
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
