is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
