The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
