2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
