I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
