As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
