i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
