Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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