if you like me you must not know who I am
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Just invented taco cereal.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Randomize
