I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Randomize
