my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Randomize
