i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
