You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Bring me that man meat
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
